I just had to share this beautiful film which appeared this week and which details so perfectly the way in which parents who share care of their children, bear the pain, so that their children do not have to.
The moments after your children leave to go to their other home, can leave you speechless with the shock of silence and gasping with the repeated nature of loss.
For those who spend their time telling us that family separation does no harm, this film speaks of the way in which separation, from loved ones, hurts adults. And the tsunami of sorrow that must be borne for the sake of children.
A similar film, from the perspective of children, might illuminate those things that I write about so often, the transition bridge, the cold, creeping sense of ending, the never quite at home, never quite not at home feeling that can pervade life in a shared care world.
For those who tell us that fathers cannot love children in the same way as mothers, I say watch this film. For those feminists who tell us that men who love children like this are obsessional or not doing it right, I say, find in your heart the compassion that has been removed by your focus upon your individual rights.
If ever there was a film that should be routinely shown to parents BEFORE they decide to have children, this is it.
I make no apology whatsoever for my stance on family separation, when even Diane Abbot acknowledges the pain and suffering it brings, it has to be time to speak up. I lived it. My husband lived exactly like this, week in, week out for almost eighteen years. The first time I experienced the free fall of that 53rd hour, I was speechless with shock.
I share this film because there has to be a more compassionate way to support our separated families and because its time we acknowledged that dads have hearts and souls too.