The lived experience of alienated parents: being the change we want to see in the world

Saturday and we are again working on the new website, not much longer to go before we can unveil for you the new way to empower yourself as a parent affected by the loss of a child after family separation.  This has been a long time coming and a real labour of love for us as we have fitted the development of our site around our work with families and the completion of the new self help handbook for parents affected by alienation everywhere.

Our new site has links to other organisations working in the field across the world, we are drawing together people who are working in the field either professionally or informally as parents and people who are interested in helping parents to help themselves.  This is about empowering families to be alienation aware and to build networks of help that parents can turn to whenever they need it.  Our trusted expert site will list practitioners we trust, both here in the UK and beyond, to help you.  We help you to ask the right questions of experts and to be prepared for working with them as well as avoid the pitfalls that come from working with alienation unaware practitioners who either do not understand or dismiss the concepts of alienation.

As part of our development of a network of contacts we have been introduced to the International Support Network for Alienated Families and we will be meeting up online with them shortly to discuss how we can work together to increase support to families everywhere. Like all ideas whose time has come, INSAF are also developing questions to ask your expert alongside self help services for families everywhere.  INSAF is run by parents for parents.  We look forward to combining our forces to illuminate the issues, provide help where it is needed and further the debate around parental alienation based upon direct work with families affected by it. Empowered parenting is the future when it comes to working with parental alienation around the globe and I am hugely optimistic about the changes we can bring to the lived experience of alienated parents and their children everywhere.

I will be announcing the launch of the new site shortly as well as unveiling the name and directing you to it.  In the meantime, as we complete it, you can send in your ideas and thoughts about what would be most helpful for you.  We will cover as many topics on the subject as you tell us you want us to, as well as all the subjects and themes we know will help you to become confident enough to cope over the longer term. We have some wonderful UK based experts lined up to help you as well as some international voices who can offer insight and learning from afar.  We will be translating best practice from around the globe into useable strategies for the UK and Europe and some inspiring stories of how things can change when you build the right strategy.

Most of all we will be providing a safe place where the subject of parental alienation can be discussed, where help can be obtained and where you can meet others who are coping with the problem so that you do not feel alone.

The lived experience of alienated parents does not have to be desperate or dismissed, joining together to be the change we want to see in the world brings hope as well as the satisfaction of shared endeavour.

I will be announcing lift off on here shortly, I am looking forward to welcoming you all to our new home.

7 thoughts on “The lived experience of alienated parents: being the change we want to see in the world

  1. I have recently read that in 95% of alienation cases, the children reunite with the alienated parent. It doesn’t say after how long but I have read before that the average time is 7-47 years. Quite a variation of time. I also recently read that to help with reunification, there are four things that are needed: contact, love, community support and hope. As far as contact, I write to my children every week and sometimes more often. It is without reply but some of their actions in the past have shown me that they read my e-mail. As for Love, I have so much love for my four children and they do know it, I show it all the time. As for community support, I do have a problem there as this whole situation has created stress in many relationships however I have some very strong supporters. As for hope, that is all I have to hold onto. I have hope and am convinced that when my children no longer feel that their father provides such a threat for them and for my children it is the threat from their grandparents too. When they no longer feel the threat, they will come back. I think they have been ready to come back before and their father or grandparents have done things to keep them away longer, to hold onto to them more. I thought I would share this with all.


    1. Thank you, Heartbroken…’ve certainly increased my hopes for the future (without creating or encouraging unrealistic expectations)


  2. Best of luck with the quite brilliantly named INSAF project. It will be a pleasure to direct alienated parents 95% dads towards such professionalism.


    1. Just to be clear INSAF is a project in the states we have just been introduced to, our new site’s name will be unveiled shortly and I hope you will direct those UK folk to us too! K


  3. After over five years of total blackout, my 17-year-old son has finally contacted me via his own private email account. His tone was upbeat and encouraging, he called me “Dad” even though his mother has been re-married for several years, and he left a door wide open for us to find a way to get back in contact. I encouraged him to reach out to his little sister by a different mother, in a situation where neither mother has lifted a finger all this time to get the kids together, though they are only less than three hours apart. What all this tells me, is that he never wanted to be cut off from any of us in our family, but that he has been compelled to wait out his mother’s paranoid delusions that began as a legal expedient during the divorce trial when he was an infant who had been abducted (in a post-partum panic episode) away from his father.

    Neither of my kids seems to harbor any grudge or express any feelings of abandonment toward me, though both their mothers have maintained a steady narrative about how the separations have always been my fault. What neither of them has ever explained to their kids is, why keeping two sibling apart from each other might fit in with any notion that I am unfit or unreliable or dangerous. Why haven’t they just got the kids together and never even have me involved, as proper parents would do? Maybe because between the two of them, a brother and sister might have some questions about their father-in-common that neither mom wants to face?


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