Today is Father’s Day, a day to celebrate love for your dad and show him how much you care. Today, in Scotland, the border of which, by my reckoning, is a mere 382 miles from where I write this blog this morning, one father wakes up without the relationship he had painstakingly rebuilt with his child. A relationship which, after being rebuilt over many years in the face of a tsunami of resistance, was ended last week by Scotland’s outdated family courts.
Today, this blog is for this father and his child and it comes with a promise. Your pain and the causing of deliberate harm through ignorance, arrogance and the utter incompetence of the system which governs Scotland, will NOT be in vain. This moment has been marked and we who understand and know the truth about parental alienation in your case and so many others, WILL BE BACK.
Scotland, as far as I am aware, is still part of the United Kingdom and whilst its legal system is different to that of the English, Welsh and Northern Irish courts, this does not give any excuse for the failure of the judicial system to protect Scotland’s alienated children. In this and in so many other cases in Scotland I have heard the same old lazy, tired reasons for not doing anything about parental alienation – ‘it doesn’t exist’ say they, ‘there’s no peer reviewed evidence’ say they, ‘it’s all about dads controlling mothers’ and so the laments go.
Well here you go Scotland, here’s the evidence which makes a lie of everything you use to reason your way out of doing something about parental alienation.
Anthony Douglas head of CAFCASS in England, telling us that not only does parental alienation exist, it is emotional child abuse.
HHJ Bellamy in 2010 who told us that ‘The concept of alienation as a feature of some high conflict parental disputes may today be regarded as mainstream’.
Fran Wiley QC of 1 Garden Court who showed us how to manage such a case in court.
Case law which establishes parental alienation as a Human Rights Act issue.
Articles about why parental alienation is child abuse.
Evidence from over 500 peer reviewed studies which show that parental alienation exists.
Do I need to go on?
The truth is that Scotland’s family courts are served by a set of psychologists who are largely influenced by the women’s rights lobby. More than that, the women’s rights agenda influences Scotland’s family services in a way which was seen in England twenty years ago. This causes such a stranglehold upon the development of child focused knowledge that the notion that fathers are anything other than feckless, reckless and not paying their child maintenance continues to obfuscate the risks to children. Finding your way through this toxic smog is like trying to see where you are going in a London ‘pea souper.’
Daniel Pelka, Baby P, Hamzah Khan. All children whose protective fathers could not prevent them from being killed. Scotland’s children, who are subject to the notion that their rights are indivisible from those of their mothers, face exactly the same risks. Just like England at the turn of the century, Scotland strangles the life out of fatherhood on the basis that women are victims and men are inherently perpetrators just waiting to be let off the leash. In the midst of this, Scotland’s systemic failure to protect children, will, I promise you, one day be legendary.
Progress will not be made in tackling Scotland’s reckless refusal to listen to the worldwide evidence on parental alienation until this underlying problem is addressed. Appeasement strategies won’t work and it is of little use championing ‘Trojan horse’ ideas or thoughts that funding therapy will somehow get you under the fence, it won’t. Every single father who enters therapy for parental alienation in Scotland is going to face exactly the same outcome as the dad who took his child to school last week knowing he is unlikely to ever see that child again. If mum decides to tell a tall tale, therapy will stop. And it doesn’t matter how much progress has been made, when it stops, it stops and bugger the consequences for the child, let alone the reunited family.
Sometimes a turning point arrives. Today, for me, this is it. This is the point at which we say no more of this in Scotland. No more will we accept that it is impossible to do the right thing for Scotland’s children. Someone somewhere has to say it. Every single paradigm shift in the world was heralded by someone planting a flag and saying this is the marker.
Well this is mine. Father’s Day 2017 is the day that I promise that Scotland’s consciousness will come into line with that of England, Wales and Northern Ireland on the issue of parental alienation. I don’t care whether people like it or hate it, love me or loathe me, want me doing this or don’t. I don’t do this for a fan base and I don’t do this because I want the work. If I could make myself redundant tomorrow I would because frankly, I’d quite like to live a more normal life than this. But I can’t. I can’t because I know the truth about what is happening to a child in Scotland and I am utterly powerless to do anything about it. I can’t because I know the truth about parental alienation and the manner in which it should be treated and some oaf in Scotland with disproportionate and unchecked power, is still able to pronounce that it does not exist. I can’t because there are still children who are routinely being divested of their rights and their needs because their mother’s needs are seen as taking priority.
Until Scotland wakes up, I will be here banging on the door and I won’t stop until someone opens it.
And they will, one day. Because when I say I work for children I mean it.
And when I say I will be back, you can be damn sure that when I do return it will be with a vengeance.