Scotland’s Shame

Today is Father’s Day, a day to celebrate love for your dad and show him how much you care.  Today, in Scotland, the border of which, by my reckoning, is a mere 382 miles from where I write this blog this morning, one father wakes up without the relationship he had painstakingly rebuilt with his child. A relationship which, after being  rebuilt over many years in the face of a tsunami of resistance, was ended last week by Scotland’s outdated family courts.

Today, this blog is for this father and his child and it comes with a promise.  Your pain and the causing of deliberate harm through ignorance, arrogance and the utter incompetence of the system which governs Scotland, will NOT be in vain.  This moment has been marked and we who understand and know the truth about parental alienation in your case and so many others, WILL BE BACK.

Scotland, as far as I am aware, is still part of the United Kingdom and whilst its legal system is different to that of the English, Welsh and Northern Irish courts, this does not give any excuse for the failure of the judicial system to protect Scotland’s alienated children.  In this and in so many other cases in Scotland I have heard the same old lazy, tired reasons for not doing anything about parental alienation – ‘it doesn’t exist’ say they, ‘there’s no peer reviewed evidence’ say they, ‘it’s all about dads controlling mothers’ and so the laments go.

Well here you go Scotland, here’s the evidence which makes a lie of everything you use  to reason your way out of doing something about parental alienation.

Anthony Douglas head of CAFCASS in England, telling us that not only does parental alienation exist, it is emotional child abuse.

HHJ Bellamy in 2010 who told us that  ‘The concept of alienation as a feature of some high conflict parental disputes may today be regarded as mainstream’.

Fran Wiley QC of 1 Garden Court who showed us how to manage such a case in court.

Case law which establishes parental alienation as a Human Rights Act issue.

Articles about why parental alienation is child abuse.

Evidence from over 500 peer reviewed studies which show that parental alienation exists.

Do I need to go on?

The truth is that Scotland’s family courts are served by a set of psychologists who are largely influenced by the women’s rights lobby. More than that, the women’s rights agenda influences Scotland’s family services in a way which was seen in England twenty years ago.  This causes such a stranglehold upon the development of child focused knowledge that the notion that fathers are anything other than feckless, reckless and not paying their child maintenance continues to obfuscate the risks to children. Finding your way through this toxic smog is like trying to see where you are going in a London ‘pea souper.’

Daniel Pelka, Baby P, Hamzah Khan.  All children whose protective fathers could not prevent them from being killed. Scotland’s children, who are subject to the notion that their rights are indivisible from those of their mothers, face exactly the same risks.   Just like England at the turn of the century, Scotland strangles the life out of fatherhood on the basis that women are victims and men are inherently perpetrators just waiting to be let off the leash.  In the midst of this, Scotland’s systemic failure to protect children, will, I promise you, one day be legendary.

Progress will not be made in tackling Scotland’s reckless refusal to listen to the worldwide evidence on parental alienation until this underlying problem is addressed.  Appeasement strategies won’t work and it is of little use championing ‘Trojan horse’ ideas or thoughts that funding therapy will somehow get you under the fence, it won’t.  Every single father who enters therapy for parental alienation in Scotland is going to face exactly the same outcome as the dad who took his child to school last week knowing he is unlikely to ever see that child again. If mum decides to tell a tall tale, therapy will stop. And it doesn’t matter how much progress has been made, when it stops, it stops and bugger the consequences for the child, let alone the reunited family.

Sometimes a turning point arrives.  Today, for me, this is it.  This is the point at which we say no more of this in Scotland. No more will we accept that it is impossible to do the right thing for Scotland’s children. Someone somewhere has to say it. Every single paradigm shift in the world was heralded by someone planting a flag and saying this is the marker.

Well this is mine.  Father’s Day 2017 is the day that I promise that Scotland’s consciousness will come into line with that of England, Wales and Northern Ireland on the issue of parental alienation.  I don’t care whether people like it or hate it, love me or loathe me, want me doing this or don’t.  I don’t do this for a fan base and I don’t do this because I want the work. If I could make myself redundant tomorrow I would because frankly, I’d quite like to live a more normal life than this. But I can’t.  I can’t because I know the truth about what is happening to a child in Scotland and I am utterly powerless to do anything about it.  I can’t because I know the truth about parental alienation and the manner in which it should be treated and some oaf in Scotland with disproportionate  and unchecked power, is still able to pronounce that it does not exist. I can’t because there are still children who are routinely being divested of their rights and their needs because their mother’s needs are seen as taking priority.

Until Scotland wakes up, I will be here banging on the door and I won’t stop until someone opens it.

And they will, one day. Because when I say I work for children I mean it.

And when I say I will be back, you can be damn sure that when I do return it will be with a vengeance.



22 thoughts on “Scotland’s Shame

  1. Karen, as the Grandfather and Father of the two people you refer to in this case, it is so sad that the Authorities in Scotland cannot protect inocent Children. My Son and all my Family are completely broken. Our hearts are not broken they are shattered.

    Karen I on behalf of my Family thank you for all you have done to protect our inocent wee child and the work done by the other Child Practitioners and our Solicitors.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know your son through a Fathers Support group sir. He has helped me, my partner in our attempts to be reunited with my severely alienated children. He has even offered to help us in court if needed. His selfless and unwavering support for other alienated parents is immense. Your sons knowledge of Parental Alienation is better than most experts out there, alienation experts included (that’s not a dig at you Karen!). I know none of this really helps you all as a family who are in deep shock right now but I want to pay my respect and admiration to your son who has inspired and continues to inspire me and many others who are fighting the evil that is PA.
      Your son has mentioned to us briefly about the incredible selfless support you and your wife have been to him and his daughter through all his and your anguish. I know personally that I could not have carried on with my fight without the unconditional love and support of others close to me. So, please be encouraged by this respect us kids have for our parents, family and friends who carry us when we can’t…
      Myself and my partner stand with you at this hour of ultimate heartbreak, anger and frustration for your family. Karen clearly does too. And I’m sure there are many others who are standing with you all as a family right now.
      My experience of the Scottish family law system is that it is not fit for purpose. I have had services attached to women’s aid weighing in to “support” my children, sneaking in through the back door of the family courts, with devastating effect. As a result of this and the actions of others we have made little progress in the three and a half years since I raised the contact action…
      All I can say sir to you and your family is please try to hang in there, even if it’s by the slightest slither of the skin of your teeth. As long as we have people like Karen with us we do have hope.

      Thank you also Karen for all your tireless work you do for the many. For our children.


  2. An institution free of any professional oversight. Unlike any other profession the outcomes are not researched, it’s institutional culture not questioned, it’s practitioners hold no professional responsibility to those it is tasked to care for. Oversight by fellow practitioners closed apart from the narrow check on legal crossing the ‘T’s.

    Imagine the same culture applied to medicine or engineering?

    The heart of the job here is dealing in human relationships, legal procedure second tier. A qualification in human relationships caries zero worth but qualifications on ‘legal procedure’ the only way to gain entry.

    Imagine the rewards and benefits an institution gains when it can choose it’s own understanding of a ‘proper job’- GPs forinstance – Cheap aspirin prescribed from cancer to flu, the one minute appointment, practitioners own self belief maintained without question. Here the success or failure of it’s practice is considered irrelevant and immeasurable by onlookers and those inside. The resulting negative influences surely create a gradual degradation into ignorant rote?

    Evidence of a cultural rote? Yes, Family Courts own commissioned report shows that 94% of applications for child contact are male and these are by far the most common application to Court. Of these roughly 50% will end up being given the minimum or above child contact to maintain the child’s significant relationship. The other side of this coin is the other 50% of children loose a parental relationship, decided by an overriding criteria of gender.

    Gender the Family Courts criteria, an institution overtly placing it above every other single consideration including P.A. when dealing with children. A self serving rote?


  3. with you on this Karen, I work with dads in Scotland and their pain and grief bears heavy on me today especially..
    My novel The storyteller the boy and the road of legends, addresses the issue. Hope to find a publisher brave enough to take it on.


  4. Norwich Family Court has a woeful record harming and ignoring children and encouraging and enabling alienating mothers. The problem is alive and thriving in courts south of the Scottish border too, without any doubt.


  5. Well, I am not convinced that England is doing better.

    Unfortunately the European Commission, who was informed since April 2010 (Martin Selmayr (DE), Michael Shotter (UK) and EU Justice Commissioner Viviane Reding (LU)) said that Family court decisions had to be recognized EU wide. The decisions from Earlier Colony, the Maltese Family court were ignored. And the EU Commission wrote yes, this is EU law but the enforcent of such contact orders is not EU law.

    UK London High Court had stolen Jurisdiction.

    When the EU Parliament had heard the Petition (2014 March; 2014 Nov) first they tried to show that they care. But finally – and especially the UK Labour MEP Jude Kirton-Darling – were actively closing the Petition under the Swedish MEP Cecilia Wikström (2015 Dec). Only Females were there.

    There were no infringement proceedings against UK in violating EU law. Neither UK courts allowed a request for preliminary to the Luxembourg CJEU court on the interpretation of EU Law.

    Whats interesting, the Irish EU Ombudsman Emily O’Reilly said very clear that such infringement proceedings are politically influenced:
    How wonder, at this time the British Michael Shotter was Head of the EU Commission civil justice policy.

    Well, UK citizens decided to leave the EU.

    Nevertheless, the Human Rights court in Luxembourg is very selective on Claims given to them.
    First the British ECHR Court employee, Mrs Lafferty wrote that not all papers were delivered. When the application came again, it was finally rejected from the Aremenian Judge Armen Hartyunyan. Does he have any glue about UK and especially about EU law.

    For now, lets finish here:

    Parental Alienation, or better Hostile Aggressive Parenting seem to exist in England, too.

    Thats todays answer from Fathers for Justice:
    Comedian Will Franken delivers Father’s Day “Reality Cards” to retailers – YouTube

    As a foreigner I will recommend to every foreign company: Don’t invest in UK. (As long they have not corrected these wrongdoings).


    1. One correction:
      “Nevertheless, the Human Rights court in Luxembourg is very selective on Claims given to them.” -> “Nevertheless, the CoE Human Rights court in Strasbourg is very selective on Claims given to them.”
      The Human Rights Court is in Strasbourg not Luxembourg.The EU Court is in Luxembourg.


  6. From the US

    A tough lady: Judge Lisa Gorcyca in Michigan

    “Court: Tsimhoni kids reunited with dad after therapy
    Father said children need 90 days without mother to help reunify his relationship with them.”

    L.L. Brasier , Detroit Free Press Published 5:51 p.m. ET Sept. 9, 2015 | Updated 6:51 p.m. ET Sept. 9, 2015

    It was even reported from Dailymail:
    “Judge Lisa Gorcyca presided over a hearing on supervised parenting time relating to Tsimhoni family in civil court in Oakland County, MI, last month
    She criticized Liam, 14, Roee, 10, and Natalie Tsimhoni, nine, for avoiding their father, Omer, and ordered them to have lunch with him in cafeteria
    When the youngsters refused, she held each of them in contempt of court
    She has now sent them to Children’s Village – a juvenile detention center
    Trio will spend summer there – and could stay there when school starts
    Mr Tsimhoni claims his ex-wife, Maya Tsimhoni, ‘brainwashed’ his children
    She denies this; says kids are wrongly being punished for messy divorce”

    By Sophie Jane Evans For
    PUBLISHED: 22:11 BST, 9 July 2015 | UPDATED: 13:30 BST, 10 July 2015

    As it was reported from the Dailymail UK judges should be aware how with such cases should be dealt. Unformtunately I have not heard about something like this happening in Scotland neither in England.

    There is another case. The Rucki Family. The mother has alienated two of the five children. More under
    David Rucki
    “Mum hid her daughters on a farm for over two years to stop ‘abusive’ dad getting custody
    Did this mother want to protect her daughters, or use them to hurt her ex-husband?”
    Reporter May 2, 2017


  7. Hello Karen, and everyone here.
    I live in Scotland and I can confirm that its outdated, anti-father family court system, is just as prejudiced against we fathers as that foisted upon dads in England and probably is the same throughout the whole of the UK. I have had some dealings with the family courts here in Scotland, I made some applications to them, but I was totally ignored and told to apply in England. In struggling for over 10 years now, I knew I was going to be put back on the hamster wheel, so as before I gave up, there was no way I was going to have another nervous breakdown. Like a lot of us dads we just give up don’t we? What else are we expected to do? (In a way I hope I am wrong about that, because some dads keep battling on, good on em too! Me, well I just went barmy with it all, eventually.) Bye.


  8. I begin to understand, Karen, why you are so hostile to the SNP. But I echo what others have said here in asking if things are really that much better for children in England? Not in my experience either…


  9. It’s not just mothers with residence that alienate their children against the non-resident parent. It can happen just as perniciously the other way… i.e. a non-resident father can alienate the child from his / her mother. This is my personal (and excrutiatingly painful!) ongoing experience which has added unbearable amounts of salt to the wounds caused by the history of violent sexual assault during pregnancy, physical violence, verbal abuse, death threats, intimidation, manipulation, stalking, harassment and coercive control. I have always acknowledged that a child needs contact with both parents and have always allowed access whenever safe to do so and always complied with court orders for contact. I just cannot bear that my son’s father is so hell-bent on destroying me that he would risk our son’s future mental health and ability to form healthy relationships by constantly manipulating him to believe that i am a bad person. In the Highlands i am experiencing the opposite of what is being complained about here. The Sheriffs seem to despise the mothers and award the fathers all sorts of leniency for their abusive ways and grant them all their rights without first of all ensuring that they are meeting (or are even capable of meeting) their responsibilities and the courts have nothing but contempt for Women’s Aid – indeed i have been advised to not mention any involvement with them, if at all possible.


  10. My ex has just pulled this trick, over the last two years I have all but been eradicated from my two younger children’s lives and supplanted by her new boyfriend. I am new to this scenario, but I can spot injustice when I see it. I have a question, as I haven’t researched this properly yet. Has a case of Parent Alienation ever been tested in a Scottish Court? I have masses of evidence and my ex’ defence as far as I can gather has only heresay and lies, where as I have documented proof? I gave engaged a lawyer as made her aware of this charge, but if you can save me time and provide any pointers I would be most grateful.


  11. Parental Alienation is aided and abetted by Scottish authorities. My children were moved from England to Scotland by their mother without my knowledge or consent. Shetland Council refuse to allow me my parental rights . There are no restrictions to my parental rights , however since moving to Scotland my children are now no longer known in the school system by their legal name and I am no longer allowed access to updates from the school as to their educational progress . I am merely sent edited versions of their school reports annually directly from Shetland Council’s Education Dept , despite the fact that the school handbook advises parents of more regular reports and direct communication with subject teachers if desired ! I had a clear line of communication over many years with their teachers when they were attending various schools in England . This change has been affected by their mother’s restrospective claims of domestic abuse – dating back to a fabricated incident from 22 years ago ( prior to the marriage ) which Shetland police also acted upon – yet again unfounded and another example of Scottish authorities aiding and abetting her abhorrent parental alienation – none of her claims ever will or ever have been substantiated . Yet Shetland Council continue to deny me access to my childrens’ educational updates based on these lies .
    It will come as no surprise that the maternal grandfather is a member of Shetland Council !!!
    Wake up Scotland!! – just afford me the same parental rights that I had in England – I need to know how my children are doing in school – it really is as simple as that


  12. I yesterday discovered that in my final hearing, the minute to vary that the child psychologist who deemed in 2014 that the mother was undertaking parental alienation and was called by ourselves, could not be used for evidence. The heriff argued that it was historical. Since 2016 my children have refused to see me, mirroring the views of their mum (i abandoned them, i am arrogant and a liar). When in 2014 it was proven they were happy with me and their behaviour was a reflection of the mother’s anxiety leading to access for me, the alienation continued. I’m going back into court without my evidence as the sheriff states it is historical. I fully expect to not see my children again as they are refusing to be with me and that this will be in their best interests. My children and myself don’t deserve this. Alienation never stops. I left the marriage and escaped it. Now my relationship with my children is shattered just the same way as my ex wife tried to destroy the bond with my mum and dad and extended family. My life is shattered.


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