Supporting New Growth in Treatment of Parental Alienation

Tomorrow Nick and I travel to Israel to work with Psychologists and Psychotherapists at the College of Western Galilee.  Over three days, the FSC model of differentiation and intervention in cases of mild to severe parental alienation will be shared with our Israeli colleagues who already have a great deal of skill in this field.

As in all of our work with colleagues all over the world, understanding how our model fits with the legal system is an essential part of our embedding our approach into a country.  So far we have done this with colleagues in Croatia, Poland, Belgium, Holland and the USA. Gathering information about the impact of that is part of our follow up and ongoing partnership work.

We don’t claim to have THE solution and we never have.  Neither do we claim that what we are working with is any kind of new pathology. All that stuff you read on the internet about us? Take it with a large pinch of salt just like we do.  The truth is that there are so many hands in this movement doing all sorts of wonderful things to bring to light the problems affecting children and families affected by parental alienation.   Which leads to new growth and development of new ideas as well as confidence and strength in bringing change to the lives of families everywhere.

This year so far we have worked with colleagues all over Europe and have participated in forums and discussions about how to move the science of abuse of children in divorce and separation forward.  Today we go to Israel to train psychotherapists and psychologists in the FSC model of work.  Despite the nonsense being written in a far distant corner of the internet about who I am and what I do, we press on with our work.

I have recently had a spell away from Court work and that has been important for me in terms of spending time a family member who needs my support. It has always allowed me time to work directly with adults alienated as children outside of the Court process.  This project has contributed enormously to my research work and has given me far greater understanding of the therapeutic needs of this group of alienated children and their families.

‘A secure base is also in the mind of the parent, a mind which is shared by the child but allowing the child enough space to be. Often the child will do anything to restore dependence, including attempting to share the parent’s trauma which is experienced as a barrier between them.’

Winnicott, D. W. (1989)

I have also had more time to examine the phenomenon of trans-generational haunting and the way in which unresolved trauma is passed from parent to child.  I wrote a lot about this in 2013  and it continues to sit at the centre of my research work.  Learning how the child seeks to find the spaces and silences in the parent’s psychological self, in order to find a secure base in terms of the mind, makes sense of the way in which the replication of an unresolved trauma from the parental past, is created by the child.

If you are interested in Transgenerational trauma and haunting, I will be presenting a call for Family Access  in August.  Please see below for details. ​ I am pleased to be able to do this call as it will allow me to share with you my experience in this area and the ways in which the child presents when trauma transmission is the core problem.  During the call I will outline some of the work that I have done where trauma transmission has been the core cause of the alienation reaction. These cases often present almost like ghost stories and are often tragic in their presentation although with the right intervention, resolution for the child in the here and now can be achieved.

At all times and in many different ways we are working to find responses to the family problems which arise around a child’s induced psychologically split state of mind.

Until the toolbox is complete and the world recognises the red flag of a child’s complete rejection of a parent as a signal that something is wrong in the family system, our work will not be done.

 

Winnicott, D. W. (1989) The Concept of Trauma. In C. Winnicott, R. Shepard, and M. David (eds), Psycho-Analytic Explorations, PP 130-148, MA; Harvard University Press.


Family Access Call

These international seminar calls are complimentary and are of no charge to any of us. You have the option to call in on our conference line, audio skype or by downloading our desk top app. We are averaging over 1,000 callers to our calls with the largest being 1,102. Each caller may submit a question to Karen that is in relation to the subject of this call. Please make the questions no more than 2-3 sentences total. Deadline to submit your question is Tuesday, July 30th. Deadline to register for this call is Sunday, August 4th at 5 PM EDT. These must be firm deadlines!!! To submit your question and / or register for the call, please email familyaccessinnc@aol.com.

4 Comments

  1. Keep up the good work! The more people who are trained to recognise and deal with this problem the more children are going to be helped in time to ensure that the damage to them is minimised.
    To me it seems like magical thinking that it is all about getting a diagnosis and then all will be well because there’ no longer a need to convince the legal system to act. How would the child get assessed without the legal system requiring it? How would the necessary intervention be implemented? This interaction with the legal system depends on local knowledge and in itself shows that there will not be ‘one solution fits all’ and that’s without even mentioning differentiation of cases. It is also naive to think that just because a “diagnosis” of child abuse has been obtained that appropriate solutions follow, again the local knowledge of how social services and their equivalents work is essential to help children.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am grateful to you and all our fellow travelers who are willing to spend time and energy helping to create healthy societies. The more that accurate understandings are spread, the less damage that children – and society as a result – will suffer.

    Like

  3. I thank you for this site. Parental Alienation isn’t well recognized in my country, particularly when it’s the mother who is alienated. I’m alienated from my children for 5 years – my daughter was 12 (now 18) and my son was 19 years old (now 24 years). Went through court, spent NZD$35,000 on lawyers fees, childhood friends turned against me, their father sabotaged supervised access, school communications and poisoned their innocent minds. Suicide idealization was at the forefront of my mind, on the maximum dose of anti-depressants, drinking to excess, the inescapable deep heavy weight in my heart and the deep void of loneliness. For my children not wanting to connect with me is one thing, but to be demonised and vilified is another.
    Through the guidance of these blogs (and my GP) I sent my son a card with thoughtful words congratulating him on graduating, and my daughter a letter, written from my soul. From that day on, I was able to let something go and although I didn’t get a reply, I moved on with my life…
    1 month ago I received a call from my son who was highly distressed and since we have met up a few times and he celebrated his 24th birthday with me. His hug melted away all my life problems and what was a deep dark void… was never really there. We still have a long way to go and I take things day by day. I realise (like my daughter) it’s the poison that separated, and the guilt that kept them away. I still dont have any contact with my daughter and I my son never mentions her – I’m happy with that and to relish in “our” time.

    Like

  4. Tania,

    How refreshing to read of progress, even though only with one. My older daughter will be turning 24 next March, perhaps that will be a fortunate birthday for us also.

    Peace.

    Like

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