The Family Separation Clinic specialises in treatment of childhood relational trauma in divorce and separation, which is popularly called alienation and which occurs in situations where parents cause their children emotional and psychological harm. The reality for child victims of this abuse, is that their lived experience is both misunderstood and often denied, leaving them without the help that they need to resolve the underlying harm which has been inflicted upon them. As the debates around the issue become increasingly polarised, the need for considered debate and reflection becomes very necessary. This International Symposium brings together key thinking in this field, with a focus on the testimonials of children who have been protected from harm by the family court, to sharpen understanding of how to treat the problem which is experienced by too many children around the world.

The binary argument about whether or not children can be manipulated and triangulated into adult matters during divorce and separation are now constant, with activists for women’s rights seeking to challenge the family justice system’s acceptance that children are harmed in divorce and separation on both sides of the atlantic . Against this backdrop however, judgments of the family court continue to demonstrate the harms that children suffer when they are triangulated into adult matters and the issue of children’s alignment and rejection behaviours remain concerning, especially when parents are found to be causing serious emotional and psychological harm. Even those who deny that children can be manipulated by their mothers, have been forced to find a label for the behaviour of children who are manipulated by their father, demonstrating the ideological gymnastics which come into play when activists are confronted with the reality that children abused by their fathers, can and do reject their mothers.

Some children are so seriously harmed by a parent in divorce and separation that they must be removed from that parent’s care for their own protection. This is an unwavering truth and throughout the past fifteen years, our focus has remained firmly upon finding the most effective ways of treating the underlying harms which are seen when this occurs. This Symposium which is based upon this work, will be held at Cambridge University and will bring together practitioners from several fields to consider the most effective ways of treating the problem of emotional and psychological harm of children in divorce and separation. Speakers from the UK, USA, Australia, Canada, Malta, Finland, Holland and more will share case studies, key thinking, best practice in legal management of these cases and outputs from their work with families. The event will be centred upon the live testimony of young adults who were removed from abusive parents by the family courts and supported through their recovery by the Family Separation Clinic. The Symposium will be divided into several key sections covering relational trauma, social work interventions, legal and structural management, domestic abuse and coercive control, attachment trauma and therapeutic parenting. Drawing each of these elements together to form a differentiation framework for use by practitioners will be a key output from the day.

The Symposium will also hear early outputs from an independent UK University project which is designed to analyse the phenomenological experiences of young people who as children were protected from abuse by the family courts in England and Wales. Combined with the live testimony of young adults, these outputs offer evidence of the importance of successful intervention in situations where children align with abusive parents.

The Importance of Understanding and Treating Childhood Relational Trauma in the Context of The Voice of the Child

The ‘voice of the child’ agenda can pose serious risks to children who are trauma bonded to an abusive parent in divorce and separation if there is an inability in practitioners to work with the ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child rather than the expressed wishes. Ascertainable wishes and feelings are those which are considered in the circumstances in which they arise and in the context of the age and understanding of the child. Ascertainable wishes and feelings acknowledge the vulnerability of children in circumstances where they may be being triangulated into adult matters and as a result may not be able to express their true feelings.

Social workers as well as all court involved practitioners should be able to recognise the dynamics which are in play when children are being influenced by parent. All work with families which are involved in court proceedings should take place within the framework which is set out by findings of the court. This protects children from being further harmed by services which are supposed to help them and ensures that interventions are properly designed to rectify power and control dynamics which cause children to become trauma bonded.

A recent case, in which a Local Authority did not use the framework set down by the findings of the court but instead relied upon the views of social workers that a father who had been found to be abusive was providing good enough care for children, demonstrates the risk of relying upon the voice of the child in intervention. All three children had been found to have witnessed domestic abuse, all three had mimicked their father in their rejection of their mother and the eldest child had threatened to kill himself if he was moved away from his father. The Local Authority was criticised for putting the children at risk of harm by not challenging the father’s control of the children in the context of the serious findings of domestic abuse made against him. The case can be viewed here.

Children’s experience of being trauma bonded to abusive parents in circumstances just like these, will be highlighted at the Symposium and contextualised via presentations on legal management, local authority child protection frameworks, private law intervention by psychotherapists and independent social workers and the experience of parents in the rejected position and the use of therapeutic parenting to heal the harms which are caused in these circumstances. Practical input on understanding the voice of the child in the context of trauma bonding will be centred alongside the testimonies of young people who were, themselves, protected by the family court when they were strongly aligned to an abusive parent.

Bookings for the symposium can be made as follows

Attend in Person – (£90 for 1 day ticket including lunch and refreshments throughout the day)

The Symposium is open to professionals in all fields concerned with child protection, divorce and separation, children’s rights and wellbeing, domestic abuse and coercive control, attachment and trauma etc. The Symposium is designed to be a safe place in which the issues concerning the wellbeing of abused children are discussed and furthered without interference from those who are recognised as being disruptive of this work and as such, all attendees will be screened on application to ensure that they are genuine in terms of their interest in the subjects which are covered. Applications to attend can be made below and we welcome all professionals with an interest in helping abused children in divorce and separation to attend.

Attend Online – (£40 for 1 day ticket)

The event will be live streamed throughout the day and we welcome everyone with an interest in this subject to attend in full or in part (please note there will be no recording of this event).

Live streaming gives you access to all presentations including the testimonies of the young people who were removed from a parent due to abuse and transferred to the care of the parent they had rejected. (Please note that due to the ongoing interference with our work by campaigners who seek to deny the lived experience of children and young people who are trauma bonded to an abusive parent, we will be protecting the privacy of these young people online and only streaming their testimony live by audio).

BOOK HERE