On September 12th 2024 we held a Symposium at Cambridge University at which two now adult children, who were removed from harmful parents in residence transfer by the family court in England & Wales, gave live testimony.

Josh (his real name) is now twenty five years old and has just begun to train as a social worker. He has given us permission to share his live testimony with you without disguising his voice or editing his testimony. This is because he wants the world to understand the reality of the lived experience of children who suffer from emotional and psychological abuse which is hidden at home by harmful parents who have total control over children.

Josh was removed from the care of his mother because she was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and factitious illness. Forensic investigation showed that she had been making him ill to a schedule which matched the times when he was due to see his father. Josh’s story is told by his father in the book ‘Please let me see my son’ in which his identity was protected due to his age. Now that Josh is in his mid twenties he is keen to ensure that his story is heard and his identity as a real person who survived abuse which was hidden at home, is understood.

These are the voices that campaigners seek to silence, real children who suffered real abuse. Factitious illness is a serious psychiatric disorder which put Josh’s life at risk repeatedly. Narcissistic personality disorder caused his mother to believe that what she was doing was in his best interests when in fact it was eroding his sense of self, his right to his own identity and even causing him to believe that he was a weak and sickly child when he was not. As Josh told the Symposium, being removed from the care of his mother saved his life.

In all of the cases of residence transfer (or removal from harm as it is better described) that I have worked in, the level of risk to the child met the welfare threshold for serious harm and the intervention was necessary to protect the longer term wellbeing of the child. As Josh shows, this is not about experts with an agenda, it is not about punishing mothers on behalf of fathers, this is about child protection and the need to ensure that hidden harm in the home is identified and stopped wherever it is happening.

Listen to the authentic voice of the recovered alienated child and understand the need for child protection in cases where children are alienated from an authentic sense of self. Josh’s testimony illuminates how children make maladaptations to their attachment relationships in order to stay safe in the care of an abusive parent and exposes the misleading intentions of campaigners around the world who seek to deny that children can be harmed when they are manipulated and alienated. Josh’s testimony is evidence which supports the essential work of the family court in protecting children from hidden abuse at home.

‘My mother emotionally and psychologically abused me in a way that I fully, 100 per cent, believed that I hated my dad, that I didn’t want to see him, that I didn’t want to have anything to do with him. She would make me physically ill to a schedule so that I would miss visitation.’

Press the image below to listen to Josh


6 responses to “The authentic voice of the recovered alienated child”

  1. Manuela Fischer

    Seit 15 Jahren vermisse ich meine Söhne (damals im Alter von 7,12,16) von denen ihr Vater mich mit unfassbarer Gewalt getrennt hat. Sie wissen nicht, was geschehen ist und was er ihnen an tut. Und ich fürchte, dass ich nicht lange genug lebe, um ihnen wieder Mutter sein zu können, um Frieden und Versöhnung erleben zu können, um ihnen meine Liebe zeigen zu dürfen. Meine Kraft geht zu Ende. Der Schmerz ist unerträglich.

    Meine Überzeugung ist seit langem, dass nur die missbrauchten Kinder selbst die Verbrechen aufdecken können. Ihnen wird geglaubt, den ausgegrenzten Müttern und Vätern nicht.

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  2. Chantelle

    What a brace young man. The podcast made me cry.

    I wish all children in this situation were saved.

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    1. karenwoodall

      me too Chantelle…me too. He is a courageous and kind and incredibly articulate young man who will make a wonderful social worker and will, I imagine, help other children who suffer like he did.

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  3. happilypurple77d6547214

    Karen, in Joshs case, was the fact he was off school so much the trigger to his school and social services seeing something was wrong? I wonder if so many children are stuck with abusive parents is because the abuser keeps their behaviour just under the radar to be noticed.

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    1. karenwoodall

      Yes, the pattern of being off school was something that I recorded as part of my forensic work ahead of the court case, when his father presented that in court the judge saw it brought in social services and shortly after Josh was removed into care. Only after he was removed into care did it become apparent after psychological assessment, that Josh’s mother had a personality disorder and the psychiatric diagnosis of factitious illness in which she had been making Josh sick deliberately to gain sympathy from others. Josh’s case was the first time I worked with this issue and it made me very aware of the hidden aspects of this abuse of children, it is why I have continued doing this work for such a long time. All of the kids I have worked with have suffered the same hidden abuse at home.

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  4. Chantelle

    Thank you for your detailed reply Karen. Sadly I believe my step children are in a similar position to Josh but their mother hasn’t kept them off of school enough for this to be flagged up.
    The court system was used but they failed the children and my partner. We haven’t seen his daughter in years and time with his son is dwindling. It seems as soon as kids turn 11 they are thrown to the wolves and allowed to control their own fate without them realising it.

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