Karen Woodall – Psychotherapist, Writer, Researcher, Trainer

2 responses to “Unprocessed trauma and the alienated child”

1. Serena

   January 23, 2025 at 12:58 pm

   Spot on, as always Karen. Petition signed ✅

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2. Bob Rijs

   January 23, 2025 at 5:11 pm

   Inner collaborators, saboteurs, and destroyers: The psychodynamics of early trauma

   The author explores with us the erratic and complex psychological landscape of the traumatized child and maps it. She then shows in an extensive case how the capacity for imagination can be called upon in treatment to deal with damaging and undermining parts of the child and thereby mobilize wise, supportive parts.

   From a subjective perspective, a trauma is such an overwhelming experience of proximity to death, of existential fear, powerlessness and being at the mercy of others, that the person in question reflexively stiffens and dissociates into different partial states out of the urge to survive. Trauma is always a violation of physical and mental integrity. As a result, changes in thinking, feeling and acting may be observed in this person. All elements of life are disrupted, self-image, physical sensation, the future, performance and the way in which relationships are entered into.

   Research into mirror neurons (Bauer, 2005) has shown that every traumatic event is physiologically encoded in the brain and ‘built’ into the body. Preverbal traumas, together with their associated moods and physical sensations, are also stored in the child’s brain and integrated into his personality, just like all experiences in the field of interaction and relationships.

   For more than ten years, I have been treating early and complex traumatized people in my psychotherapy practice who begin treatment with various somatoform and dissociative syndromes. Traumatization in early childhood most often involves relational acts in a family context. The children are usually at the mercy of one or more people in the immediate vicinity for a longer period of time and repeatedly. The central theme is abuse of trust, because the perpetrator takes advantage of the fact that the victim is dependent and trusts him. My patients have often suffered macrotraumas in their lives, such as object loss, physical violence, neglect and sexual abuse. Many of these events are in conscious memory and can be dated (e.g. deaths and adoption). But unpleasant childhood experiences are often subject to (partial) amnesia. And even more often, the traumatic events took place in an atmosphere of permanent microtraumatization. This refers to daily belittlement and humiliation that acts on the child’s psyche like a chronic poisoning (Maaz, 2004). Due to the real dependency, trauma-related ties between children and perpetrators can be characterized as particularly close ties. The victim develops great loyalty and loyalty towards persons on whom his life directly depends in an existential sense. In this article I will discuss this psychodynamic of the bond between perpetrator and victim.

   Preliminary commentsWorking with the concept of the ‘inner child’ is an established imaginary method within trauma therapy based on depth psychology (Reddemann, 2004; Steiner & Krippner, 2006). “Inner children” are already symbols of partially autonomous psychic complexes. Several aspects can be recognized: the traumatic event itself, the acute rescue maneuver of the child (the traumatic reaction), the traumatic states of mind and physical sensations as well as the emotional climate and the interaction pattern between the child and the aggressor at the time of the trauma. . In addition, the subjective fantasies and the cognitive interpretation afterwards, with which the interrupted life is made whole again, are part of the complex (Traumaprozess, Fischer & Riedesser, 1999). Trauma-related ‘inner children’ often conform to the image of ego states as described by John and Helen Watkins (in Peichl, 2007).

   The psychodynamics of traumaDuring a trauma, the victim structurally dissociates into an ‘apparently normal personality’ (ANP) and various ’emotional personality parts’ (EPs) (Nijenhuis, 2006).1 Dissociation is an emergency procedure that is available from birth and serves two purposes: (1) to guarantee survival and (2) to make the pain tolerable. The traumatized child also pursues these goals, although in reality his own options are limited and his life in fact depends on maintaining the relationship with the perpetrator. In a traumatic situation, dissociation creates two partially autonomous ’emotional personality parts’, which become encapsulated in the interior of the victim as a ‘fearful inner child’ and an ‘aggressive inner child’.

   Fear and loyal behavior towards the perpetrator to save the helpless victimThe ‘fearful inner child’ plays the key role in the victim’s survival. It has experienced the fear of death, existential dependence on the perpetrator physically. Based on his need to survive, the child is determined not to have the relationship with his aggressor broken under any circumstances, because that would be his death sentence. The power relationship forces the child into submission; out of loyalty to the perpetrator it suppresses all its own needs; self-limitation and self-betrayal are the result. From that moment on, the victim takes the blame for everything that happens to him. Because the interpretation ‘it is my own fault!’ provides the helpless child with a remainder of self-control and commercial competence and offers him the opportunity to face the perpetrator again despite everything.

   Fear of the perpetrator and fear of possible repetition of the actions, but also inner fear scenarios, lead to permanent tension in the anxious child through sensitization of the amygdala (hyperarousal). Through this conditioning, the victim develops behavioral patterns characterized by submission, making amends and extreme obedience. The child’s attention is constantly focused on his tormentor, on the one hand to make everything right for him and to placate him, and on the other hand to avoid being rejected. Without having to explicitly ask for it, the perpetrator can now count on the loyalty and confidentiality of the ‘anxious-obliging child’. The behavior of traumatized small children is triggered by fear, they experience their world as helpless victims and they integrate their experiences into their self-image and into their script.

   The ‘inner collaborator’In line with the power relationship with forced submission, a trauma-specific bond arises between victim and perpetrator, which is known from hostage dramas as the ‘Stockholm syndrome’. A complicity and closeness grow between them in the sense of ‘imposed intimacy’ (Reemstma, 2005, p. 17). This relational dynamic is a survival strategy that can be very successful and that early traumatized children integrate into their behavior. The success is that the existential fear is reduced by the close bond with the perpetrator. The child can save his own life, although the price for this is the suppression of important needs. This self-limitation is expressed in feelings of guilt and shame in the victim.

   Repeated traumatization strengthens collaborative behavior; the victim remains competent and can control his fears. On the other hand, this pattern of behavior ensures that traumatized people tend to become victims again and, in the worst case, even present themselves as victims.

   The “inner collaborator” is the personified complex of behaviors that express this specific trauma dynamic of fear-filled submission and self-restraint. The imagery therapy of systematic symbolization uses symbols such as snakes, dwarfs and goblins. The kind part of their input should be appreciated, because through submission they saved the life of the victim in a situation from which there was no way out. However, the enemy parts symbolize the self-limitation of the victim, they must be transformed before they can be integrated.

   The aggression of traumatized peopleBesides fear, aggression is the second state of mind that sets a person in motion when attacked. However, in the event of trauma, neither fight nor flight is possible, only stiffening in reflex can provide rescue. As a physiological response, an unexpected switch from sympathetic excitement to vagotonus follows; every aggression is immediately blocked and slowed down by consciousness.

   In the event of a trauma, an ‘aggressive inner child’ always arises at the same time as the anxious child. This contains two different types of aggression: first, it contains the “holy wrath”, which arises from the narcissistic injury of the victim and the violation of his human dignity. This aggression plays an important role in the process of survival: this aggression converts fear into trading skills, is incorporated into protective measures against the perpetrator and helps shape the development into a person who can cope with everyday life. After a trauma, the child tries to express his healthy aggressive impulses, which is usually prevented in the rigid family context. The aggressive child’s permanent frustration reinforces the victim’s rebellious script and thus forms the core of the crystallization of self-sabotaging behavior (see later in the text).

   The ‘inner destroyer’As a second type of aggression, the traumatized child introjects the perpetrator and encapsulates it within himself as ‘destructive anger’. The image and actions of the intrusive, angry or malicious, cynical or sadistic perpetrator reach the victim via the mirror neurons. The perpetrator introject becomes an ‘enemy part in the part’ that from now on lies dormant as an ‘inner destroyer’ in the aggressive child and will only later become noticeable with a whole range of destructive behaviour, for example with frequent accidents, extreme nicotine and drug use, self-injury and suicidal tendencies.

   A proven therapeutic method is to assign this inner destroyer a separate imaginary form from which the inner child must free itself. Common symbolic figures include devils, black monsters, giant spiders and spirits in bottles. This imaginary method is a gentle confrontation with the perpetrator on a symbolic level, for which sufficient ego strength must have been established in the patient in advance. The solution lies in strengthening the victim’s willingness to fight so that he can separate himself from the destructive forms.

   The ‘perpetrator script’ of the inner destroyerExperience shows that it is not enough to simply put aside the inner image of the tormentor. In a second step, the legacy of the inner destroyer, his spiritual ‘perpetrator script’, still needs to be identified and removed. This means: all damaging messages from the perpetrator that are deeply imprinted in the victim via the mirror neurons and transformed there into scripts for self-destruction. Because when a perpetrator tells his victim: ‘You are worth nothing, therefore I can destroy you’, the child converts that message into the sentence: ‘I am worth nothing, I must destroy myself’. Through repetition, these cognitive beliefs turn into self-suggestion and henceforth determine the entire thinking, feeling and action of this person. The aggressor then succeeds in implanting an image of himself and his act, as well as a deadly script, through which he is always present in the victim in two ways. Many patients spontaneously symbolize these scripts as viruses or worms on the hard drive of their computer, which always emerge when clicking certain links (triggers) and begin their destructive work. The purpose of symbolic formatting of the hard disk is to remove these script components and their associated triggers. Only after this second step do (especially sexually) traumatized patients feel truly liberated from the dominating power of the perpetrator.

   The ‘inner saboteur’The core of the ‘inner saboteur’ is the aggressive inner child, who, after surviving the fear-filled trauma numbness, manages to return to his fight and flight options. This inner child fights with holy anger against the injustice suffered. But because it cannot stand up to its attacker due to the natural hierarchy of power, the angry child chooses active diplomacy: it explores its options with cautious defiance (attempts at struggle), and when it comes up against the perpetrator’s limits, the child diverts the aggression onto itself (escaping into self-aggression). Out of the express wish never to feel helpless again, the aggressively rebellious child identifies with the perpetrator and strengthens himself with his power. In such an alliance with the aggressor, this child must also bow to his power of decision (rebellious victim), but he escapes the feeling of passive, helpless submission for which he despises the inner collaborator.

   By internalizing the destructive aggression of the perpetrator, the aggressively rebellious child further develops into an ‘inner saboteur’. From now on, this person operates as a loyal accomplice of the perpetrator, who can remain in the background. The inner saboteur directs his aggressive impulses mainly against the self who operates anxiously and is trapped in the script of the helpless victim. Depending on the extent of the destructive rage, the inner saboteur sometimes takes on the role of torturer (self-punishment and penance) and other times the role of executioner (self-harm and self-destruction) – both at the behest of the aggressor.

   The inner saboteurs are especially discussed in the third phase of trauma therapy. These are hidden behind autoaggressive resistances and blockages to life and success in life, but also to success in therapy. In addition, self-sabotaging behavior contributes significantly to masking the inner destroyer and to chronifying the victim script. The inner saboteur is also easily accessible for an imaginary-symbolic method. The solution concept for the inner saboteur is to distinguish between holy anger (friendly part) that can be integrated, and the destructive anger (enemy part) that must be disconnected.

   Imaginary components of trauma therapy based on an example caseMrs. S., 36 years old at the time of the intake interview, went to therapy because of major sleep problems with nightmares since she started living in her parental home with her family – husband and two children. In addition to daytime fatigue, this patient complained of all kinds of anxiety, sometimes panic attacks; she had been robbed twice at knifepoint, apparently the victim of a mix-up. In addition, she was very often ill (respiratory tract infections) and suffered from all kinds of somatoform pain (head, neck, back and jaws, heart and abdominal pain). Furthermore, Mrs. S. described typical dissociative symptoms, such as a tendency to run away from emotional pressure, situations of numbness and emotional coldness, as well as compulsive impulses to hit her children. As we got to know each other better, she often talked about the idea of ​​being possessed by her grandfather (on her mother’s side).

   As an only child, she had had a father who belittled her and did not respect her boundaries, who would have preferred a boy, and an emotionally suppressed mother who did not support her daughter. The patient always felt misunderstood and rejected and had adjusted her concept of life out of fear.

   When the patient was 4 years old, his grandfather (on his mother’s side), who was often drunk after the death of his wife, moved in with them. Because he paid the costs for the maintenance of the house, he was given the master bedroom, and his grandchild had to sleep next to him in the double bed until she was 12 years old. Every night she had to endure his sexual acts. Attempts to make this known to the parents were nipped in the bud by him with threats to call in the police and have her thrown in jail. While intoxicated, the grandfather raped the patient when she was eight years old. It wasn’t until she was 12 years old that she got her own room thanks to an extension to the house, but she waited every night for him to come home. “Sometimes he was annoying to me because I didn’t open the door for him.” Even after his death, Mrs. S. felt as if she was still dominated by him; he showed up in her nightmares.

   Outpatient trauma therapy goes through the three classic phases: (1) stabilization and processing of sources, (2) memory and synthesis of traumas and (3) reorganization of life (Herman, 2003). Imaginary methods are frequently used (Reddemann, 2004; Steiner & Krippner, 2006). Like many trauma patients, Mrs. S. is also very adept at this and has spontaneously resorted to her ‘Wise Woman’ in the past.

   At the beginning of trauma therapy, after external protective and safety measures, I always create an inner safe haven where a wise authority holds sway, which at the same time guides the entire course of the therapy as ‘inner wisdom’ and shows the way. This wise figure represents the unconscious knowledge of self-healing that the patient possesses, which not only she but also I as a therapist can fall back on. In the process of therapy, I see myself as a mountain guide through a deep gorge, who knows the way, who secures the patient with a rope and supports her in finding the next steps to continue the journey courageously.

   In the phase of stabilization and processing the sources, Mrs. S. found a safe haven and met again the Wise Woman she had known since she attempted suicide at the age of 17. At that time, her first boyfriend had abandoned her because he did not want to believe that his father wanted to have sex with her. “Without those conversations with my Wise Woman I would not have survived at the time.” This Wise Woman became the patient’s trusted and safe companion throughout the entire therapy process.

   I think the patient’s consistent focus on ‘the wise figure’ is important for two reasons. First, through many small resolution steps, a bond is created between the patient and her Wise Woman and thus an experience of a trusting relationship that is not dependent on my person. Secondly, I see the wise figure as an expert in the field of self-organization and creative tailor-made solutions for all steps in therapy (Haken & Schiepek, 2006). As an experienced mountain guide, I provide the framework within which it is safe and I direct the impulses in the process, within which I concentrate on the solution principles. The solutions themselves are found by the patient, with the help of her Wise Woman.

   Mrs. S. was only partially aware of the trauma her grandfather had caused, she was appalled by the frequency and cruelty. She was no longer aware of the inappropriate behavior of other family members (uncle and father). It was very painful for her when she discovered her mother’s betrayal. It became clear that the mother was aware of her daughter’s suffering and nevertheless handed her child over to her grandfather again and again. With great patience, she carried out meticulous work on the instructions of the Wise Woman, each time based on the current complex of symptoms, and the traumas were revealed and the inner parts of the child were integrated (phase II of trauma therapy). As the resolution process continued, Ms. S. lost her panic and slowly but surely her physical symptoms. We managed to use the constructive aggression; the patient learned to set her boundaries, to cope with daily stress and to be more caring for herself and her children. Respect for her husband also grew, who had often been the target of her secret revenge.

   In the third phase of therapy, the reorganization of life, I mainly concentrate on the search for the inner collaborators, saboteurs and destroyers. In complex traumatization there are always several of these types of ego states, so it is advisable to look for the central inner collaborators, saboteurs and destroyers. To this end, I have developed an imaginary strategy that, as ‘systematic symbolization’, takes into account the ambivalent character of the inner collaborators and saboteurs in particular, and at the same time unravels the conflict dynamics. It also becomes clear which aspects of the ego states deserve appreciation and need to be integrated, and which aspects need to be neutralized as perpetrator introjects and perpetrator scripts.

   The systematic symbolization of the inner collaborators, saboteurs and destroyers makes it possible to simplify the complex connections and at the same time alienate inner images that resemble reality and place emotions at a distance. It is impressive to see the precisely fitting symbolic figures that emerge, which neither the patient nor I could have imagined. The systematic symbolization takes into account the ambivalence of these ego states to the extent that the ‘friendly’ (= constructive) and ‘enemy’ (= alien and self-destructive) parts are always determined for the symbolic figure. A symbolic figure is again found for both of these parts, which are further edited separately. Through structuring questions, the psychodynamics are peeled back to the basic conflict. Through the messages from the symbolic figures, the patient learns something about the trauma and the atmosphere within the family at the time. The regressive work is partly limited to the problem at hand and is therefore both revealing and resolving in nature.The central step of the symbolization strategy is to ask the wise authority for the solution, what should be done with the symbolic figure. In my experience, there are three resolution principles: (1) should the symbolic figure be killed/defeated? (2) should the figure be sent away or returned? (3) should the figure change and then be integrated? A fairytale solution often takes place on the inner stage. At the end of the process there is a palpable reduction in burden, which is often accompanied by a sigh of relief and laughter. The symbolization eases the patient’s work, but it is quite a difference whether the mother has to be killed or whether a witch can be burned. Last but not least, the medium of symbolization has a protective function for the therapist in her work and contributes to her psychohygiene.

   The symbols of Mrs. S.’s inner collaborators were two sisters. The patient discovered the original ‘fearful friend part’ as a ‘light sister’ and thanked her for her efforts at the time to survive. In the second step, the ‘enemy part’, the symbolization of self-betrayal, was released as the ‘dark sister’. First the two sisters merged with each other and then the patient’s daily self integrated with this figure. She said, “It was as if an angel passed through me.” In the next step, the patient managed to free herself from the spell of her inner destroyer. For this, many bombs had to be defused and small and large devils had to be sent back to hell. The shapes of the destroyer became more and more realistic in the course of the processing, until at the end Mrs. S. also had to emasculate and kill her grandfather’s in-troject. The palpable release from the inner destroyer was completed by the cleansing in which the victim was stripped of all perpetrator implants. First, washing rituals took place for all violated body parts (mouth, skin, breasts and vagina). To symbolize the perpetrator’s ‘spiritual script’, my patient came up with images that resembled a latent HIV infection. During the trauma, an infection with the pathogens had occurred that remained unnoticed until a time of immune weakness occurred in which an acute outbreak of this disease could occur. After removing these viruses from the body, her nightmares also disappeared and she no longer felt possessed.

   The central intervention for the treatment of the inner collaborator is to appreciate its life-saving function (the friendly part) for the helpless victim.The inner destroyer has the special characteristic of its double presence. As the personified perpetrator, he is usually 100% the enemy and must be neutralized. Moreover, it is necessary to eliminate his spiritual poison/infiltration (also for 100% enemy).

   The inner saboteur can be found behind the resistance to life, to the positive and to success, with which it also likes to slow down the therapy process. The righteous anger of the rebellious victim may be appreciated and integrated as the friendly part of the inner saboteurs, while the usually larger enemy part, which stems from identification with the aggressor, must be neutralized.

   An example of symbolization of an inner saboteurA relapse in symptoms of long-lasting febrile infections of the upper respiratory tract puts the patient on the trail of an inner saboteur, symbolized by a little red devil, who is about one-third friend and two-thirds enemy. First she has to work with the enemy part, which escapes from the devil as an inconspicuous beige-black snake and then immediately squeezes the patient (as an imaginary everyday person) on the neck. The serpent’s message: ‘I will destroy you – I will strangle you and eat you’. The Wise Woman shows the patient that she has carried the snake with her since puberty. At the time, a hairdresser had completely cut her hair and subsequently cut herself in both forearms with a razor. Her comment now: “I punished myself with severe pain for someone else’s mistake, as if that would help prevent something worse from happening.” Her Wise Woman further explained that there had been a second reason for the cutting: she had lost her physical sensation, had ceased to feel herself, and the pain had been like a release. As a solution, she was told to kill the snake, Mrs. S. had to destroy it with a gas burner; All that remains of this gigantic beast is a pile of ashes, which the patient puts into a ball and throws far into the sea.The friendly part floats out of the devil like a little yellow bird; it rejoices in the deliverance from Satan’s cage. It wants to fly into its future with the patient; she must learn to feel with her body that belongs to her and now has no injuries. The bird also shows her what she has already achieved. Now she has to get rid of unnecessary baggage, pay more attention to the beautiful and become more light-hearted.

   When all these destructive and self-limiting ego states have been treated, it is time to end a long working relationship, the final challenge of outpatient trauma therapy. Experience shows that this improves as the patient has learned to consistently turn to her Wise Woman.

   This article previously appeared in Trauma and violence (August 2009). It has been reproduced with the permission of the author and publisher and the translation was provided by Marion Steur.

   Sombroek, H. (2009). Innerlijke collaborateurs, saboteurs en vernietigers: De psychodynamiek van vroege trauma’s | Psychotraumanet. https://psychotraumanet.org/nl/innerlijke-collaborateurs-saboteurs-en-vernietigers-de-psychodynamiek-van-vroege-traumas

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