Here Comes Dandlebear

As part of our work with children who are affected by family separation and/or at risk of alienation, we have brought the Dandlebear stories to life on Kindle.

There are ten Dandlebear stories and we are making them available on Kindle first and then eventually the series will be available in book form.

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We are also making Dandlebear available for children to use as a helpful ‘transitional object’, a cuddly bear with ‘long arms and paws as big as daddy’s gloves’, which children who move between homes can take with them back and forth.  The idea is to introduce Dandlebear to young children as a comforter which accompanies them back and forth on the transition bridge.

We have designed Dandlebear books and toys as a way of assisting parents to work in a co-parenting relationship.  We want to help young children to understand that the feelings they experience as they move back and forth between parents are normal and can be managed.  We want parents to understand that children have those feelings as part of the experience of living in a separated family situation and that as separated parents, it is important to pay attention to them.  By paying attention to children’s transitional anxieties, parents can offer comfort and reassurance and assist children to make the crossing back and forth both in the physical and psychological realm.

Making transitions back and forth is difficult for some children, particularly those who are sensitive and who have parents who do not communicate easily.  These are the children who are most at risk of using the coping mechanism of withdrawal from a parent after separation.  Helping children to avoid the psychological splitting reaction of withdrawal from one parent and allegiance to the other, is one of our main aims in producing the Dandlebear stories and toys.

More Dandlebear stories are being produced now and you can buy the first in the series on Kindle here.  We very much hope your children enjoy the stories.  We will let you know as soon as Dandlebear is available in cuddle toy form.

 

Please note that all of the proceeds from the Dandlebear Series are used in research and development of tools and resources for parents and practitioners who are working with alienated children and their families.

2 Comments

  1. Thankyou for this contribution. It consequentially defines co-parenting as an art form.

    Much of what we are told following family break up concentrates on the behaviour of one parent and how it effects the other parent adversely.

    Precious little relates to the experience of the child.

    Dandlebear bridge is constructed by adults. It is for those parents who desire to put the needs of their children first developing techniques that not only aid their children’s journey between households but also influences and re-assures the other parent to accept the co-parenting model.

    It does not require both parents to be adept at dandlebear bridge construction. A target parent can withdraw from adult conflict and manipulate a pathway so that other players in the family dynamic begin to dance to a better tune.

    (This comment is not for those parents in pure alienation cases)

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  2. The books sound lovely….what age group are they aimed at? Have you anything for older teens planned?

    Anonymous I wonder about your comment ” A target parent can withdraw from adult conflict…..”. Really? When one parent is determined and relentless in their generation of conflict through insisting that everything must be done to suit them and their schedule, the other parent is stuck in a conflict situation with them. Total withdrawal from the conflict-generating parent simply isn’t possible if you share children. The children see/hear/feel the inevitable conflict with unenviable consequences. When only one parent of two is prepared to play by the rules of decency, children suffer and I’m damned if I can see how the target parent can unilaterally make all that conflict magically disappear. I recall making that point to a trainer on a one day parenting course run by the mediation service and the trainer not having a clue how to answer me. None of us can control another adult’s behaviour. In other circumstances an adult can choose to walk away completely from the troublesome person but children, keep relationships best severed, going way beyond their sell by date. And that, is the source of so much grief all round.

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