In the struggle with parental alienation many things are written and said. Many people work hard to understand, explain and resolve the problem and many are left feeling helpless and hopeless in the face of this task.
Parental alienation is the cruellest human condition. In my view it compares only to a child being murdered in its terrorism of the soul. How this condition arises and how it is maintained is something I have long been concerned with. Writing about my understanding is one of the ways I process my experience.
One of my core interests is how the dynamics which lead to parental alienation arise. How is this poisonous state of mind both created and maintained, even in the face of evidence which clearly contradicts the false reality the child is living. The truth of the matter lies in the psychological defences and the harm which has to be done to the child to get them to live in the distorted reality which is the psychologically split state of mind.
It is this harm, which I call living in the church of the poisoned mind, which is the precursor to living life as an alienated child.
Contrary to its name, the church of the poisoned mind is filled with the warmth of belonging and the sense of being truly at home.
Far from being ruled over by an easy to spot narcissistic predator, this church is a place of sanctuary and safety for the children whose minds have been divided into two and who have been taught that the world is filled with good OR bad people.
This church has no windows to look out of and inside it there are no dividing walls.
The church is ruled over by a person who is warm, kind and extremely focused upon the needs and wants of the children who worship at the altar. The children have no way of knowing that this person is using their devotion as an emotional tithe to stave off the penury of the soul which exists within.
Within the walls of the church of the poisoned mind, the psychological wellbeing of the children is being drained by the loving vampirism of the enmeshed self of the church leader. But the worshippers do not know this because they have been trained to give up their independent sense of self in favour of the group mind.
The internal layout of the church of the poisoned mind is open plan, there are no walls separating the children from the loving parents who control their thinking. The children believe that this way of living is truly liberating and the true path to righteousness. The church leader keeps the flock in check by issuing regular warnings about the dangers of the world outside the church walls.
The goal of the church of the poisoned mind is to render the children incapable of independent thought. When the children are incapable of thinking or believing anything outside of the good word of the church leader, the project to poison the mind is complete. From hereon, the spreading of the good word of the pastor and keeper of the church of the poisoned mind is a task which the children will take up lovingly and with great determination. Converts to the cause of the church of the poisoned mind, the children are now safe to leave the confines of the church to spread the word wider. Those who go out to do this work are regularly reminded to come home to the only place where their spiritual wellbeing is safe.
And so the children wander the world proselytising, certain that their poisoned view is the one and the only truth.
All achieved with the sleight of a ‘loving’ hand. Usually achieved in order to fend off the wounds caused by others in a projected defence force of loving dedication. For whilst the pastor is adored, the inner fragilities (s)he defends against can be ignored. And the children, (whilst experiencing transient, fragmented, sensations of unreality), sell the party line to other unsuspecting souls in need of solace and support.
Eventually the children administer the poison to themselves and offer it in abundance to those family members who do not live within the cult walls of the church of the poisoned mind. Those placed at distance from the pastor and his flock are now helpless in the face of the horror which unfolds before them.
Death might be an easier thing to witness than the observation of the slavish devotion to the dysfunctional needs of the church leader.
But the children feel safe in their shackles and the pastor sleeps soundly at night.
And so the church of the poisoned mind becomes the sanctuary the children truly believe in, even as they scan the external world for the reason they so regularly feel the insanity of the psychological divide in their mind.
I see so many young people in this state of mind who cleave to the pastor whilst projecting hatred at the person they believe to be the cause of their pain. And I see parents who have been rejected, drawn into similar states of divided loyalty.
The poison which the children administer to themselves, is the very same poison the parents are drinking.
Divided in mind and worshipping at the altar of the saviour of souls, this is the true mirror of demons. For when parents live in the split state of mind – this is good/that is bad – all hope is lost for the children.
The end game of alienation is to split not only the mind of the children but the mind of the parent who is placed at distance. For when that parent enters the church of the poisoned mind there is nothing left to be done.
All is complete.
The trans-generational march of delusion holds sway and everyone dances once again, to the same tune.
All is where it was, where it should and where it will be.
Don’t follow the children into that place.
Nothing in the world is wholly good or wholly bad, nothing is right and nothing is wrong.
Beware of people with quick fix solutions.
The cup they are handing you is the very same poison the children are drinking.