10 comments

  1. I know you won’t read this, but I t’s too late for my alienated son and I. What I need you to tell me is, how do I carry on living without my son in my life???

    It’s too painful and all the hope in the world and praying for karma, doesn’t work.

    Respectfully yours

    An erased dad 😓

    >

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    1. Dear Keith, I read every message that people post, sometimes I might not have time to respond but others I do. I will write a piece on how you go on living without your son in your life and you don’t need to rely on hope and praying for karma to do that. What you have to do is learn how to shift your perspective so that you understand what is happening and know what you can and cannot do right now. Then you have to tend to the personal journey of grief and then you have to rebuild your life in your own image for yourself. It is a journey and it isn’t easy but it is essential. If you want your son to never have to go through what you are going through you will find the strength to do it. You have to rethink your role in his life for now. You are his protector, the one that must remain alive and well so that he can find you and escape from the place he has been forced to go to. It is never too late – whilst some have to wait years, most children return when they have the ego strength and the maturity to manage the splitting and overcome it. Life for now has to be about you and the meaning of life has to be about more than your son. You have to find ways to stay alive for long enough to feel alive again. I will write more about this soon to help you and many others suffering this. I send you my best support and care for now. Karen

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi just wanting some advice please i have a 3mnth old baby who is not yet registered due to the Corona virus and my ex is wanting 50/50 contact I receive over 60 texted a day saying I’m unfair with what he gets now, and has done since near enough birth….which is 4hrs 2days a week and 7hours one day a week… hes constantly saying I’m not fair

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    1. Charlotte you can Email at karen@karenwoodall.blog with more details and I will give you some guidance on how to manage this. Babies need consistent care giving more than anything and parents who can work together. I am sure that the current situation is stressful and this is not good for baby. What you need is a clearly set out parenting plan with gradual increases in time which are age appropriate. I am not an advocate of automatic 50/50 shared care which is often highly difficult to manage in the case of babies. Please email and I will give you some guidance. K

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  3. Please Karen can you zip these podcasts together and send them to me (zipped together or sent individually via MailBigFile if possible) because Caroline’s comment above has really made me want to listen to them (pretty please)

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  4. American here who has for years now been unable to grasp what the heck happened to pull my once always loving children away from me?

    Complicated further by it ONLY happened since they were both well into their adult years — both married – 1 moved 800 the other 1000 miles away … careers in full tilt … and so to the reader(s) — it had nothing to do with courts or custody BUT IT STILL happened and it hurts like H*ll:(

    No need to try to express the pain — all of you here know it far too well and to me… what I initially realized on this site is what I say sadly … WOW:(

    I am an erased father (term I just realized here) and I could echo the same sentiments that are well…echoed all over this incredibly insightful if not downright less than delightful website. I don’t know what I find more saddening?

    The entirety of the whole Parental Alienation / Splitting trauma or …. the sad fact how many of us there are that have, are and we can all assume — many more WILL — suffer through this torment.

    To that end — Karen in your expertise and compassionate wisdom, you are a Godsend.
    I shall change my mindset to the opposite of erased and become a sponge in my return to read and soak up all that I can here – for as long as I can and ofc, with your permission. Thank you.

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    1. You are welcome here Dan and please read everything and anything here. We are working on a lot more practical information too so keep checking back. I am sorry that you have to suffer this, it is indeed horrendous but you can and must survive. There are many unwell people out there who would like to characterise what happens to these children as being about abusive parents causing their children to reject them. Here is a safe place for healthy parents, away from those unwell groups. We don’t argue on this site, we just observe and discuss. Here is a safe place for you. Welcome. K

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